I hate my life...yet i don't

Why me. What a selfish thing to say right? I usually never ever say that cause i know people have it harder than me. but its getting really hard for me. first school problems, then friends, then just people. now family. i dont get why it seems everything/everyone is against me. i keep pushing through it and keep saying "well life isnt fair" and just deal with it. but gawd. Now i found out today, that my dad is dying and they stopped doing operations on him. damn his alcohol. so now hes probably going to die soon. and i cant even see him. now i will never get to see him. i cant even go to his funeral cause his drunk wife (step mom) would (no joke) try to beat up my mom and be all bitc*y to trevor and me. so we might not even have our own service thing until either christmas or 6 months from now. i really dont want to go..but i do. this just isnt fair. its almost like everything is against me. but i know people have it harder, i just wish some people would help yet sometimes i dont let them. i dont know whats going on. my weekend is ruined. its not fair how so many kids at my school and have a great life. i keep tryn to get my life towards that but then something else knocks me down. i'll keep trying though, i want to get away from everybody, go to college..just have a new life. that would be nice.

Mach Study

Oh my gosh i dont even know why i'm even metioning mach but BAM!!! Kati and I are a great study group I'm so happy we work so well together. The test is sooo insane and we have been have 4-5 hour study sessions!! it's intense..but it was also fun haha

"I prefer Tax over War" and then the post-it flag fight or w/e it was lol. Good (and frustrating) times. We both were so sick of Mach we threw our books down haha (apparently i was more violent...psh..). lol Well I personally am so happy and i feel so good and complete, i just need to memorize and BAM we should be good (I hope!). lol Now, i will also be able to sleep in!!!!!!!! Yayyyy! Gosh i love having good/reliable friends/study partners!

MACH STUDY LIBRARY: